Traveling With a Nanny or Babysitter
It's no secret that once you have kids, travel is no longer a care-free vacation. One way to give yourself a little downtime at your destination is to bring a trusted babysitter or nanny with you from home. The idea sounds idyllic for all parties, right? The nanny gets an all-expenses-paid vacation, and you have some help with in-flight meltdowns and a chance to enjoy a grown up dinner with your spouse. Unfortunately it's not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes the pressures of traveling can put a strain on the employer-employee relationship, and the family ends up loosing a trusted babysitter at the end of the trip.
Some advance thought and preparation on your part can help the trip go more smoothly, though. If you're considering your own babysitter-enhanced vacation, here are some factors to consider:
- It's not an all-expenses-paid-vacation if you're working all the time. Your nanny's first responsibility is to you and your children while she's with you, but remember that if she's working around the clock, she'll probably feel like she's missing out. When we travel, we have a set schedule, just like we do at home (though the hours are different). That allows the nanny to make her own plans. It also makes my expectations clear. We both know when she's expected to help with the kids, and when she's not.
- It's not an all-expenses-paid-vacation if you pay for the extras Most babysitters live a frugal lifestyle. Extras like dining out for every meal, telephone calls home, or snacks and bottled water on the go can really add up. A poor exchange rate can make things even worse. If you are staying in a hotel without a kitchenette or visiting Europe, consider giving your babysitter a per-diem to cover the extras and perhaps even a few museum visits or other activities. Invite your babysitter to join the family for a few activities that she might otherwise not be able to afford. That extra consideration and cash might just help smooth over some rough patches when things don't go as planned.
- Set expectations early Before you leave, discuss the trip with your nanny and answer any questions she has. Be sure to cover: Sleeping arrangements, work hours and pay. Talk about what kind of help you expect on the plane flight. Is she solely responsible for the kids or are you the primary caregiver with her assistance? If you are sharing an apartment, discuss how she should handle requests from the kids during her off-hours. Do you expect her to take the kids out on excursions, or keep them in the hotel room? Make sure that he is comfortable with the plan, and understands that while she'll have time to explore, this is considered a work-trip for her (not a vacation) and her first responsibility will be to you.
- Make sure there's enough space One of the fastest ways to stomp on each other's nerves is to have too little space. Some families ask their babysitter to share a room with their kids, but we've always felt it was better to give her a space of her own. The right answer probably has more to do with your nanny's personality (and your children's sleep habits) than anything else. Still, if you expect the babysitter to share a room or sleep on a hide-a-bed in the living room, make sure that you discuss the plan in advance. Choosing an apartment (instead of two hotel rooms) is a good way to give everyone more space without breaking the bank.
- Prepare for the Destination If you have traveled more than your nanny has, you should help her plan her own trip. Make sure she has a passport and any necessary visas, give her a good map, and consider giving her a guidebook of her own. Help her understand what the destination will be like, answering any questions about weather or what to pack and any cultural issues.
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Enlist her help Your babysitter (like you) knows your kids well. She may have some great ideas about what toys to pack, and if you expect her to entertain the kids in the hotel room, you'll want to make sure that she's had the opportunity to include her own favorites.
Do you have other tips? Is there something I missed? Let me know in comments!
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Traveling With a Nanny or Babysitter4 comments | Posted on October 13, 2008 |
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Mara on October 13, 2008 at 8:23 a.m.
Nice article Debbie - and I totally agree with everything you say here.
I have a post that describes traveling to Paris with our babysitter this past summer (http://motherofalltrips.blogspot.com/...). We did everything you recommend (including provide her with a detailed itinerary before we left) and it all went great. I also made sure I took her out for a few meals where it was just the two of us so that she got have some more "adult time." I didn't pay her a per diem, but simply paid for everything we did and bought her metro tickets. The only expenses she covered herself were her lunches and museums on the days she went off by herself. Everything else was paid by us. And I used frequent-flier miles to buy her plane ticket. It meant she flew separately from us, but I had arranged for a shuttle with an English-speaking driver to take her from the airport to our apartment.
One thing I made sure I did also was to make sure that all three of us (DH, babysitter, and myself) had cell phones that worked in France. That way I knew that she could always reach one of us if she needed help.
I think that renting an apartment is a great way to go and can often save money. In Paris we had a two-bedroom place with a fold-out bed in the living room.
Debbie on October 13, 2008 at 10:11 a.m.
Mara,
Great points (and great post). I agree that lots of people have someone in their lives who could fill this role & there are lots of different ways to make it work. A sibling, a family friend, a friends (older) child... and it's a wonderful way to turn a family trip into more of a vacation!
The issue about cell phones is a great point. In Chicago, we didn't need to worry about it (everyone just used their own) but when we took the babysitter to Italy a year ago, we got new SIMM cards once we arrived, and then we were able to call eachother as cheaply as we do back home. Being able to coordinate by phone (even for a husband and wife) is a huge help... especially with kids dragging everyone off in different directions.
Here's a link about getting cell phone's internationally
http://www.deliciousbaby.com/travel/f...
wandermom on October 13, 2008 at 11:25 a.m.
This is great info.
I've only ever done travel-with-a-sitter within the US, but I have to say I found it more stressful than traveling without a sitter. Having 100% down time was more difficult since someone who isn't part of the family was always around. This may be because of I have a child with ADHD and we regularly take 'medication vacations' when we're traveling or just because my husband and I work f/t so we like spending 100% of our travel time with our kids.
This year, though, since they're 8 and 12, we were able to go out for dinner w/o them - leaving them with a cell phone in the hotel room. Now that feels like a treat well earned.!
p.s. I pay $5/month to be able to make calls internationally on my AT&T gsm-enabled phone. You can add/remove the service before/after a trip. I find it easier than futzing with SIM cards. Roaming rates for calls and texts are not too bad - so long as you're careful about usage.
TulipGirl on October 14, 2008 at 7:59 p.m.
We had a FABULOUS vacation in Paris with all four kids and an au pair. What really made the difference was sharing a similar philosophy of traveling, and that isn't something that can always be determined in advance.
It really was great to have the extra set of eyes and hands, as the boys were 2, 4, 5 and 7 at the time. Also, as she had experience teaching art to children she was wonderful at narrating to the boys what they were seeing at the museums.
It doesn't sound "frugal" to be in Paris with four children and three adults, but we definitely had to be. A smallish garret room, picnics in parks. . . Little things really do add up.
(And we still share a great relationship today -- she'll be coming to visit us in just a few weeks, though Florida isn't nearly as fascinating as France.)